Wednesday, December 19, 2012
My Incredible Interrupted Life
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
It's been a while!
A big reason I write, is really just a way to journal, or put down on paper (or blog), what God is teaching me. I have never been a big journaler, but blogging seems to be a good fit for me. I would like to say that I get inspired or lead to write because I am spending hours and hours a day reading my Bible, while I am listening to hymns. Sad to say that is not the case. Alot of times I get inspired to write because of a song I hear on the radio, something I see in my daily life or even a show I am watching, while I try to rest during naptime. Today I was inspired to write based on watching the show, The Glee Project on Hulu, don't judge...it is my guilty pleasure! This weeks episode focused on bullying and it made think and go back and relive some of the times when I was a victim of bullying. When I was in middle school and a big part of high school I was picked on and bullied by a certain group of girls and specifically one particular girl. It was awful...especially in middle school! Every day they seemed to have a caddy or cruel comment to say to me about my hair, my clothes, shoes or even my height. There were mornings that I dreaded going to school and afternoons when I could not wait for the bell to ring. Those perfect, plastic girls made what should have been fun, learning, growing, a coming into my self time, into a time of misery and counting the minutes until they were over. Thankfully, during that time I had some great friends and an always supportive family, that I made it to college with out too many permanent scars.
But today in the world of Facebook and social media, I can see pictures and read updates from these once cruel chicks. Many of them have turned their lives around, married, have children, and love the Lord. That last fact makes me the most mad. I know it sounds a little dramatic, but sometimes it makes me mad! It makes me mad that the same girls that were picking on my for my believes and my stance on Christianity, Jesus, God, Church, values and moral, are now reaping the "benefits" of being a Christian. There are times when I tell God, that I don't think it is fair that they get to love You too...after how awful they were to me and some many other "goody girl" Christians! Today was one of those days when I was talking to God about Him allowing me (how dare Him!) to be bullied and those mean girls being able to now get to share in the same eternal blessings that I have too! God in His gentleness simply reminded me of Paul and of Stephen. Paul, when he was still Saul, stoned to death Stephen who was considered a great preacher, missionary and man of God. Then just a few weeks later, Saul becomes Paul and he who was once a mean, persecutor was turned into a heroic missionary, preacher and writer! I am sure when God dramatically changed Paul's life, Stephen was not up in Heaven, leaning over God's shoulder, saying really God?? I am sure Stephen was rejoicing in the life change in and the influence of Paul's life. This convicted me, on how I need to think about those once bullies in my own life. When I see one of the "mean girls" posting a Bible verse on their Facebook wall, I need to rejoice in their life change, and what God has done and in doing in their lives. Because we are going to be spending eternity together...so I better get used to it! I need to remind myself of the simple truth of John 3:16, "For God so loved the World (even the mean girls), that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have ever lasting life!!"
Monday, April 9, 2012
March of Dimes 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Teaser for 2012 Summer Curriuclum
Last summer I did a "Letter of the Day" curriculum for Ava. Several of my friends have asked if I am going to do something similiar this summer. I have started on a brief outline of what I am going to do this summer to help Ava continue to grow in "wisdom, stature and favor with God and man!" I am using some activities books that I purchased at the dollar store as a jumping off point for the curriculum. Two days a week she will be attending a day camp at "Babies R Talking", (I will be one of the teachers). Two days a week we will be doing "school" and then on Fridays will be our free day.
Ava’s Summer School Schedule
2012
Monday:
School work: Letters, Numbers, Shapes, Colors
Exercise Activity: Whitewater
Cooking Activity: Food based on school work
Spiritual Activity: Verse and Bible Story based on school work
Tuesday:
Babies R Talking Camp (9-1)
Afternoon activity: Park, puzzles/games, play time with friends
Wednesday:
School work: Letters, Numbers, Shapes, Colors
Exercise Activity: Whitewater
Cooking Activity: Food based on school work
Spiritual Activity: Verse and Bible Story based on school work
Thursday
Babies R Talking Camp (9-1)
Afternoon activity: Park, puzzles/games, play time with friends
Friday:
Free Day-nothing really planned, go with the flow, visit with family and friends.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Jesus the One and Only
Today in 2012 as I watched myself (bless my heart) on the DVD, I could not help but want to scream out to my then 23 year old self…It is going to be okay! I did not know it back in 2000 when my heart was breaking from being dumped by my college boyfriend, of two years, what exciting journey God had in store for me. I did not realize at the time both the trials and triumphs that would come my way in the next 12 years and how much I would go back to the simple but profound truth that Jesus is the ONE and ONLY!
2001- Our world changed on 9/11 and I feared my brother was on the Boston bound plane. Who gave me peace and my brother protection, Jesus the One and ONLY
2004- On December 16, God in His grace and mercy chose to take my precious nephew home to be with him. Who was it that my family trusted in during our darkest hours of grief, Jesus the One and ONLY
2006- On March 25th, I married my best friend Adam and the memories of that boy that broke my heart were just that a memory. In that amazing moment of when two became one, in whom did I rejoice, Jesus was the One and Only
December 30, 2008 My precious preemie was born, so little and so fragile. I was so scared and so worried. Who was my refuge and my strength, who did I run to in my fear, anger, sadness, happiness and joy, Jesus the One and Only
Present Day. When I am dancing around the kitchen to praise songs with my miracle daughter, Ava; When I am laughing again at one of Adam’s joke; When I am sitting on the beach
with my parents, brother, sister in law and neice and nephew, and Adam and Ava; When I am sitting quietly by myself, study Gods word. Who am I thanking, studying about, worshipping, amazed by….Jesus the ONE AND ONLY!!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
This Little Light of Mine
Monday, January 16, 2012
My Poetry....Hilarious!
Poem One
Who Would You Choose
(high school- 1991 to 1995)
There is a boy I know and I love him so, I am not sure If he likes me or her
She is my best friend, I don’t know what I would do if he should choose her over me
If he did pick her, I’m not sure what I would do
Because she is my best friend
If he chose her, my heart would be there to mend
I love him so, I wander if he knows who to choose
I love him so but she is my best friend
I don’t know what to do, who would you choose?
Poem Two
(high school)
Why do I sit here and cry. I’ve always put my heart into every relationship I start
You don’t know how much my heart broke when you wrote me that note.
I guess you were trying to even the score, Lets not write notes anymore
You have the win
But if I ever had another chance to begin
I would hove you all over again
Poem Three
Love and Pain
(college- 1995 to 1999)
Love and Pain, Why are these two things the same
Why does love hurt so much
Who would think of such
But what is it all about
Love is great, but it doesn’t last
Son it will all be in the past
Because it seems every time you love someone, they just leave you out to dry
Soon that day comes when you have to say goodbye
It’s always ok to cry
Love and Pain are just the same
If you love someone you sometimes have to loose them to realized why
Love hurts so much
Poem Four
Guy I Love
(college)
I know this guy that I will love forever, I only wish we were still together.
I felt so special when an older man took my hand
Then this year I saw him with another girl
I had to shed a tear because I fear he will never love me again
Poem Five
Children
(seminary-200-2002)
Children.
They are the toothless smile of a five year old little boy.
They are the innocent laughter of a two year old little girl who has discovered the joy of bubbles
Their smiles can brighten our day and their little hugs can melt our hearts
Poem Six
Looking at the Sunset
(seminary)
Looking at the sunset and remembering how we met
Running through a field and catching fire flies
Looking up at the stars and wondering why
Why?
Why did God bring you to me?
How I long I had dreamed
How many tears did flow
But oh how I could never see
See that God had a perfect plan
God was creating a Godly man
A man who was after God’s own heart
A man whose love will never depart
Oh bring him to me
Let with my very eyes see
The one who is better then them all
The one by whose name I will be called
Poem Seven
No Matter What
(seminary)
Who would you die for?
Your dad, your mom, your big sister or little brother?
Maybe your girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband
But would you die for that ex-boyfriend who kissed your best friend, or that one who assaulted you or an abusive parent.
Jesus did just that. He died for the Roman soldier who whipped him
He died for Judas who sold his soul for thirty pieces
He died for Peter who denied him
Jesus died for you. He died for you no matter what you have done or said or thought
Won’t you allow Him to come and make you whole and love you no matter what!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Taking Tentative Steps
12 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
Philippians 3:12-16
***Disclaimer: This is a very honest, real, blog posting. If it hurts feelings, I am sorry, but it is my life experience. If you don't like what I wrote...don't read it.***
This Sunday at church our pastor, George Wright, began a new series on growth. Being that it is the start of a new year, many people are trying to set goals, resolutions, changes they want to do or make in the coming year. As George was closing his sermon on "Christian Growth", he included some points, scripture and dialogue about how we sometimes let our past prevent us for moving onward and upward in what God has called us to do with our lives. He made this point about our past. "Do not be defined by your past but by Christ who covers your past." He also stated that our past can prevent us from having growth in two ways. The first way is that we can say that our past disqualifies us. The second way is that we can say that our past entitles us. WOW! Both of those thoughts about our past, my past has crossed my mind. I have used both those excuses lately for not following God's calling and God's will in my life!
My past ENTITLES me! I feel like I have used that excuse so often in the last few years. I so many times feel like my past entitles me to either get special treatment or to be excused from service. Why do I think my past entitles me for certain privileges? I grew up in a strong, intact, Christian family. I grew up going to church every time the doors were open, being a GA, being part of Bible drill, and a leader in the youth group. As I grew up, left the nest and went to a Christian college, I was called the "shining star" by many of my professors. In Seminary I was told I was "their favorite student", by my professors. Then as I entered into the ministry world I had the privilege of working on staff at one of the most amazing, wonderful, growing, Gospel preaching churches in the Southern Baptist Convention. So if you ask me had I put in "my time" in Christian growth and service I would have said ABSOLUTELY!
My past DISQUALIFIES me! I have also used this excuse many times, probably the most in the last few years. I have used it as a cop-out, reason, and an excuse for why I am not stepping up and risking doing anything out of my comfort zone. What in my life, in my past am I so scared of repeating? Why am I so shy to be bold and brave again? Funny you should ask! After my stunning, shining and sensational ministry life experience from college through my ministry position at the mega church, I took a new position at another church and it was a train wreck. Maybe I was over confident in my ability. Maybe it was a "growth opportunity" for me. But whatever it was, it was very hard and to be honest very scarring. I went to work at a church where I really felt and still feel today that God was leading me to, but the experience was tough...scary...hard. It was nothing like anything I had experienced before, and it has changed me.
So where do I go from here? Well two things first. One, I am not going to rely on or wear like a medal, what I did six to ten years ago in ministry as a way to feel, think or even sometimes act superior to others. Two, as far as my "trying experience" in ministry I am going to forgive, learn, grow and most importantly move on!! I will not let Satan, anything or anyone else steal the "joy of my salvation'!! I will move. I will worship. I will teach. I will write. I will pray. I will follow. I will serve. I will grow!