Wednesday, June 20, 2012

It's been a while!

I know, I know, it has been awhile since I have written anything.  I have had some great friends and family ask me why I have not written lately or do I still want to or like to write.  The answer is yes!  I love to write, I still want to be considered a "writer" in my own right (no pun intended!).  If you are someone who enjoys my writing, all ten of not fear.  The main reason that I have not written in a while is that I am newly pregnant with my 2nd child!  Can I get a hallelujah!!  What is even more astounding about the fact that I am pregnant again, is that fact that this pregnancy happened "all natural".  With out going in to too many details, means that my husband and I were just doing what married people do...with no help of drugs or procedures and we got pregnant.  Which is such amazing miracle!  My doctor had told me after my daughter was born that I most likely would not be able to become pregnant on my own with out medical intervention.  Good think I follow, love and serve an amazing GIVER OF LIFE!!  Back to why I have not is called being in first trimester!  Hopefully there are ladies out there that can relate to my tired, overly exhausted, emotional, sickly self!  Now that I have passed into 2nd trimester, I actually have energy and even the brain capacity to write again!

A big reason I write, is really just a way to journal, or put down on paper (or blog), what God is teaching me.  I have never been a big journaler, but blogging seems to be a good fit for me.  I would like to say that I get inspired or lead to write because I am spending hours and hours a day reading my Bible, while I am listening to hymns.  Sad to say that is not the case.  Alot of times I get inspired to write because of a song I hear on the radio, something I see in my daily life or even a show I am watching, while I try to rest during naptime.  Today I was inspired to write based on watching the show, The Glee Project on Hulu, don't is my guilty pleasure!  This weeks episode focused on bullying  and it made think and go back and relive some of the times when I was a victim of bullying.   When I was in middle school and a big part of high school I was picked on and bullied by a certain group of girls and specifically one particular girl.  It was awful...especially in middle school!  Every day they seemed to have a caddy or cruel comment to say to me about my hair, my clothes, shoes or even my height.  There were mornings that I dreaded going to school and afternoons when I could not wait for the bell to ring.  Those perfect, plastic girls made what should have been fun, learning, growing, a coming into my self time, into a time of misery and counting the minutes until they were over.  Thankfully, during that time I had some great friends and an always supportive family, that I made it to college with out too many permanent scars.

But today in the world of Facebook and social media, I can see pictures and read updates from these once cruel chicks.  Many of them have turned their lives around, married, have children, and love the Lord.  That last fact makes me the most mad.  I know it sounds a little dramatic, but sometimes it makes me mad!  It makes me mad that the same girls that were picking on my for my believes and my stance on Christianity, Jesus, God, Church, values and moral, are now reaping the "benefits" of being a Christian.     There are times when I tell God, that I don't think it is fair that they get to love You too...after how awful they were to me and some many other "goody girl" Christians!  Today was one of those days when I was talking to God about Him allowing me (how dare Him!) to be bullied and those mean girls being able to now get to share in the same eternal blessings that I have too!  God in His gentleness simply reminded me of Paul and of Stephen.  Paul, when he was still Saul, stoned to death Stephen who was considered a great preacher, missionary and man of God.  Then just a few weeks later, Saul becomes Paul and he who was once a mean, persecutor was turned into a heroic missionary, preacher and writer!  I am sure when God dramatically changed Paul's life, Stephen was not up in Heaven, leaning over God's shoulder, saying really God??  I am sure Stephen was rejoicing in the life change in and the influence of Paul's life.  This convicted me, on how I need to think about those once bullies in my own life.  When I see one of the "mean girls" posting a Bible verse on their Facebook wall, I need to rejoice in their life change, and what God has done and in doing in their lives.  Because we are going to be spending eternity I better get used to it!  I need to remind myself of the simple truth of John 3:16, "For God so loved the World (even the mean girls), that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have ever lasting life!!"