Blessings in Disguise!

This past weekend I had the privilege of going on a women's retreat with my "home church". The church I grew up in and has been and continue to be a spiritual nest in my life. It was such a blessing and a treat to be able to go on the retreat with my mom, sister in law and some of my very best friends. This is my third or fourth year (I think), of making the retreat a tradition in my life. I love going on the retreat because it is sort of like a "homecoming" for me. So many of the ladies on the retreat have been like extra moms and mentors to me through out my life.

Our speaker and worship leader for the retreat was Laura Story...INCREDIBLE!! She is an amazing worship leader, song writer and just the real deal. During the weekend she shared a song off of her new album, called "Blessings". When she started singing the song, my first thought was "this is new...I wonder if I will like it". Then after about three lines of the song, I was a HOT, MESS!! I had make up and mascara running down my face. As my tears flowed down my face, I was just reminded of the tests and trials that I have faced in the last few year. But in my soul I cried out, that I would not change a thing because my faith and my thirst to know Christ has been changed through these trying times.

The song made me think back to 2004, when we had prayed and prayed for healing for my nephew and God chose to heal him in Heaven. I remember falling to my knees outside of the hospital room and telling God that "I was done!". In the moment, God's still small voice said, "FINALLY, I WILL take it from here!". So from that moment, I felt as if I was starting over with my faith walk. Step by, step by step, day by day, my faith began to grow and mature, based not on how I felt or what my circumstances were but on WHO GOD IS!!

As the song played on I also began to think about the two years my husband, my family, friends and I endured as I worked and waited to become a mommy. I can remember many sleepless night and tear-filled days of waiting and wondering, when was it going to be my turn. When I look back at those days, even though they were testing, trying and full of tantrums and tears, I would not trade them. The reason is, because through those times, I have never felt closer or more in tuned with my Heavenly Father. Each step I took, each negative pregnancy test, through countless needle prickes and body probing, I felt God's hand on my heart.

My favorite line of the song is, "What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satify"! The reason I love this line, is because it finally but in to words, how my relationsip with my Lord and Savior has changed and grown through the tests and trials. Was going through and continuing to go through trials fun...Absolutely not. Yet, the lessons learned and the closeness I have now with my family, my friends and most importantly with my Heavenly Father would not be here if not for those challenges...for those blessings in disguise!!

Laura Story - "Blessings" Lyrics
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
But long that we'd have the faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home, is not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise