Infertility Stinks!

Why Does Infertility Stink??

• The dream you had of marriage then kids has been shattered.
• Every month having to see just one pink line on the pregnancy test, instead of two
• 16 and pregnant on MTV
• The never ending question of "When are ya'll going to have kids?"
• People telling you that you can't do a good job in children's ministry or as a teacher because you do not have children of your own
• Baby Dedication
• Mother's Day
• Going to Babies R Us
• Being told to "just adopt" and feeling bad because you don't feel led to do it.
• Hearing the news that one of your friends or family members is pregnant. One one hand you are excited for them but on the other hand your heart breaks because you wish it was you. Then you feel bad for not feeling absolutely excited for your love ones, and then you beat yourself up for being selfish
• Feeling like you must have some BIG SIN in your life or why else would you not be pregnant
• Feeling like you are a science experiment
• Having your most private parts of your body be on display for countless doctors, nurses and even pre-med students
• Taking vitamins, hormones, and shots
• Doubting your faith and wondering where God is in all of this struggle.
• Seeing the "I'm so sorry" look in the nurse's eyes as she tells you yet again that you are not pregnant
• Crying in the Wal-Mart check out line as you buy your "supplies" for your monthly gift
• Hearing "We weren't even trying"!
• Having your arms ache to hold a child
• People telling you to "just relax and it will just happen"

These are all things that I have hated and still sometimes hate about infertility. Infertility is not fair, it stinks, it's heartbreaking and it affects you spiritually, emotionally and spiritually! Through my struggle with infertility the words of this song helped. My favorite line is "still I will praise you, still I will praise you!"

The biggest change in my relationship with the Lord that happened during my infertility journey was that my love for God is now based on WHO HE IS and not on what He gives me! Even though I have a child now, through the help of hormones, shots and treatment, my heart still aches. Because now that she is 18 months old the questions are starting up again...when are you going to have another one? So today as we sang the song below in church, God reminded me of the lessons of grace, mercy and faithfulness that He had already taught me. So today I can again say, "still I will praise you LORD!"

YOU NEVER LET GO LYRICS - MATT REDMAN

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You