Where did she go?

"I know you've washed me white, turned my darkness into light, I need your peace to get me through, to get me through this night. I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth your word reveals. I'm not holding on to you, but you are holding on to me, you're holding on to me!" Casting Crowns

When I first heard this song, these questions came into my mind. Where did she go? Where did the girl who was brave enough to fly to China four months after 9/11? Where is the girl that went to Puerto Rico, did apartment ministry and stayed in the house of a total stranger? Where is the girl who could do Fall Festival, VBS, CAMP and Sunday School, and still be there to share God's love with a Passion to those around her? I don't know where that girl went to. Did I get burnt out? Did some of the sorrows of my heart finally win? Did I just get distracted? I don't know but, I do know is that I want that girl back. The one who was fearless, passionate, energetic, happy, deep, trusting, loving, and excited about life!

Many times as women, when we make the big life change of going from career woman to stay at home mom, we face the challenge of still feeling useful. We spend our days cleaning up poop, washing clothes, cleaning the house, fixing meals, reading books. We stop and look in the mirror, only to see dried sweet potato on our eye brow, or look down and see spit up on our shoulder. It is easy to think back to the days of wearing Ann Taylor clothes and sipping Starbucks coffee on the way to work. Yet God desires to still use you in an amazing way to bring Glory to Him, even in the midst of a temper tantrum by your "precious" child!

In the book of 1st Samuel, God used Hannah to prepare her son Samuel to be one of the greatest judges. Hannah only had Samuel with her in her home for just a short time. When Hannah was praying for a child she made a promise to God that if He granted her a child, she would give him back to the Lord. When Samuel was just 3 or 4 years old he went to live in the temple. Through Hannah's influence on his life, he became strong enough to stand up to the priest Eli and bring change and holiness back to the temple! In Exodus we read the story of Moses. Moses's mother was only given the privilege of raising Moses until he was about four years old. She then had to give him back to the princess of Egypt to be raised as a son of the Pharoah. Through the influence that Moses's mother had on his life in the short time of four years, he was able to lead the children of Isreal out of slavery in Egypt to the Promised Land!

So on those days when you feel at your wits end, when you feel as if you are not make one bit of difference in the world, just think about what amazing plans God has in store for you child. The stronged willed child that you have on your hands, may one day need that strong will in order to be a missionary to a unreached people group. The whiny child, may one day use that sensitivity in order to counsel and encourage others in their faith and walk with the Lord. As you look at your life now, in comparison to what it used to be, do not be discouraged! God is using you to enourage, strengthen, love, and teach the next generation. What amazing things God may have in store for that little one that is sleeping peacfully in her crib right now??